7 ways you’re unknowingly hurting your Lover

 7 ways you’re unknowingly hurting your Lover. 

You could be hurting them and not even know it.

Have you found your person here 7 things you can do that are hurtful

1. Criticism

This can be verbal or nonverbal. If you find yourself frequently getting on their is case about not folding the laundry the right way, consider other ways to approach them. Praise their efforts first. You could say, "Thank you for folding the laundry. I appreciate that you took the time to do this. Can I show you how to fold the towels so they all fit in the cabinet?"

If they have done something different from what they said they would do, consider reasons this might have happened. If they arrived home later than expected, maybe got stuck in traffic. Maybe  stopped at the gas station. Pledge to approach questions and concerns with kindness rather than criticism.

2. Not making time for them 

If you find that you are drifting apart, analyze how much quality time you're spending together. When you do spend time together, what do you talk about? If you talk about what is on the to-do list for tomorrow, and how the house needs cleaned for your parent's visit this weekend, it is time to make room for other discussion topics.

Try to find at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted time each day to talk. Don't use this time to discuss the never-ending list of tasks that need done. Really take this time to reconnect .

3. Not taking that chance to say "I love you"

You don't even have to say it. You can show it through the things you do . If you're apart due to a work trip, take the time to call or send a quick text. If they are coming home from work when you are already asleep, leave a note .You can say I love you often .You never know when it's the last time you can say it. Remember love doesn't have conditions Don't use terms like if you loved me you would or wouldn't.....! Love and Loving someone is a daily effort. 

4. Reconnecting with exes

Spending time with or talking to your exs might seem harmless to you, but it could be hurting your partner You shouldn't be spending time alone with ex's. Discuss boundaries ; do they feel comfortable if your former flame. If you have children together you may have to share space make sure you are clear in showing your children the healthy way to coparent without disrespecting your current relationship. When sharing your thoughts on this sensitive topic, be open to your partner views. If you don't understand the reasoning behind their opinions, ask about it. It is important for both of you to know where each other stands on the matter and why. Don't hurt them more by dismissing their opinions

5. Spending money without permission

This kind of spending doesn't refer to buying groceries and paying bills. This refers to using money on things you want. If you find yourself spending $50 on something without talking to them first, this could be hurting them. You don't have to call every time you want to make a purchase but sitting to discuss a shopping budget will help spare feelings of betrayal and disrespect for both of your hard work.

6. Using harsh start-ups

Pay attention to how you address your partner and at the start of a new conversation, and especially when you reunite at the end of the day. Using harsh start-ups like "I see you didn't wash your bowl this morning" or "Why didn't you take your suit to the dry cleaners today?" can trigger an argument and hurt feelings.

Instead, try being kind. Showing your appreciation first helps. You could say, "Honey, I appreciate you putting your bowl by the sink instead of leaving it on the table. When you address them politely at the beginning, your discussion will be less likely to turn into a heated argument

7. You're always right (according to you

 if you think you're always right, take a step back and analyze the situation from their perspective. Really listen There could be something you didn't notice at first. Secondly, if you find out that you are in the wrong, admit it. It can hurt them if you drop the subject after realizing that you're at fault.

It is crucial to look out for the ways you're unknowingly hurting your person but also watch out for ways they are hurting you, too. 

 Love is a two-way street If your partner is hurting you, address .choose one thing each week for the other person to work on. This is a loving way to show your person, that you want them to change a certain action or attitude. And when you both have something to improve, it can feel less like criticism and more like teamwork

I took this from a marriage therapist article I came across titled"

7 ways you’re unknowingly hurting your husband

You could be hurting your husband and not even know it."

By Shaelynn Miller

 I did edit to repost I feel talking to friends in similar situations as myself that this can apply to any relationship.

As I read this I wish I could have sent it to my ex. Our relationship ended for several reasons listed , not for lack of love on either side but communication.As the weaker one in the relationship as far as saying how I felt and being heard because I felt constantly attacked and degraded, I grew quieter and quieter and finally ended the relationship because I didn't feel loved or even considered. i hope it helps future couples.